Diddakoi

There is a blog that I frequent from time to time: IMAO. He's extremely irreverent, and I particularly like his "Random Thought" posts. One from today:

I'd rather a 12-year-old with basic reading skills be on the Supreme Court than the average liberal justice. Dissent from Tommy, age 12: "I looked in the Constitution and I didn't see that."

And after I finished chuckling at that...

There's talk that General Petraeus may change the rules of engagement in Afghanistan. We here at IMAO have obtained an advanced copy of what those new rules may be:

LETHAL FORCE CAN BE APPLIED WHEN...

* Someone is shooting at you.

* Someone is shooting near you.

* Someone is shooting another Transformers sequel.

* Someone blows into a vuvuzela.

* You already tried fisticuffs, and that didn't work.

* You have written permission from your parents.

* Someone makes a "Yo' Mama" joke that really stings.

* You ask, "Can I use lethal force against you?" and you're pretty sure you see the guy nod.

* You've run into the inventor of clamshell packaging.

* Someone just looks extra, super terroristy.

* Hippies.

* Someone throws a puppy at you.

* You're absolutely sure there's no media around.

I am paraphrasing Gary, who does a great impression of Dana Carvey's "Ching Chang" character on Saturday Night Live ("Chicken make lousy house pet...").

I don't understand. The ficus has sunlight, water, plenty of room and yet everyday it dumps a couple dozen leaves on the floor.

Note to self: no more ficus trees. They don't make good house pets.

In the eyes of a cat, everything belongs to the cat.

After the Fish-tastrophe earlier in the month, we went to the pet store and bought ten "feeder fish" and two algae eaters. Two of the feeders didn't make it past Day One - there was a burial at sea for them. The algae eaters slunk to the bottom and have only been seen once since.

But the strange thing is that a week and a half later, there are many more than ten fish in the pond. There are babies. Lots of them. So either the feeder fish (or the algae eaters) got busy in a hurry, or the old fish had reproduced and the babies managed to survive in the three inches of water that remained.

Yesterday I came home to discover that one of the pump hoses had become detached, the result being that the pond emptied itself of water. Unfortunately, the pump settled into the lowest part of the pond, so the poor fish had no chance at all.

There will be no burial at sea - the fish had gotten pretty big - so they will be unceremoniously thrown out in the garbage tomorrow morning.

I've refilled the pond and will give it a week or so to adjust before buying some new pond fish. This episode has reinforced my decision to avoid the expensive koi and fancy goldfish and stick with the ten-for-a-dollar feeder fish from the pet store.

Sorry, Charlie(s).