"I had no money, and I missed my flight, so I went to Morocco."

Thus began Diane's story at lunch. Also present - as witnesses - were Kent, Eva, Mike and Ellen. The tale involved a guy on an airplane, an open air market, a semi-nude chicken, a hashish party, a gay brother, and kissing the ground upon returning to Philly.

[But what happens in Morocco, stays in Morocco.]

So my watch battery died a few weeks ago. Which means I have to take it to the little jewelry shop near Lee's Hoagie House to have them replace it. But I haven't done that because:

A) I keep forgetting
B) I'm lazy
C) I'm procrastinating until the weather warms up
D) All of the above

At first I really missed having the watch there so I could check the time. But now I don't really miss it at all. And I realized that I stopped wearing any other jewelry at about the same time - not that I really wear much to begin with. I apparently never got *that* gene. You know, the one that makes women love jewelry and shopping.

Not that I don't admire elegant work or impressive stones, but I view it in the same vein that I view houses that are decorated in a beautiful traditional style. Lovely, detailed, authentic . . . and not my style.

[But I should still get my watch fixed.]

No, seriously, I had NOT read this headline when I wrote about my watch and my thoughts about jewelry:

Woman Swallows Diamond Ring in Florida

CLEARWATER, Fla. - A woman pleaded guilty to swallowing a 1.5 carat diamond ring at a jewelry store and will serve one year of probation.

Mary Denise Flowers, 38, swallowed the ring at Littman Jewelers in December. A surveillance camera caught the act.

The ring was later recovered in a jailhouse commode, and will be sent to Littman Jewelers' corporate headquarters in Oregon to be melted down.

Flowers, who did not have a previous criminal record, was also ordered Monday to pay fines and court costs totaling $1,090, court records state. The judge withheld a formal finding of adjudication, meaning Flowers will have a clean record if she completes probation without violation.

[I'm glad to hear the ring will be melted down.]

I don't know about you, but I found this headline disturbing:

Latest Victoria's Secret model: Bob Dylan

NEW YORK (AP) -- New, from Victoria's Secret: the MiracleBob?

Bob Dylan appears in a new series of commercials for Victoria's Secret, his grizzled face intercut with shots of model Adriana Lima cavorting through Venice in a bra, panties and spike heels.

Dylan's song "Love Sick," from his Grammy-winning 1997 album "Time Out of Mind," provides the musical backdrop for the spot, which airs in 15-, 30- and 60-second versions.

Don't worry. The 62-year-old Dylan keeps his clothes on.

[And I *WAS* worried, you know.]

Quote du jour:

"He's winding up the watch of his wit.
By and by it will strike."

-- William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616) English dramatist, poet

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