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Updated: 01/13/05

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What's on the nightstand

by Austin Tappan Wright

"War and Peace"
by Leo Tolstoy

begin packing

washed dishes

Thursday, 13 January, 2005

The alarm went off this morning and Gary said, "I have to tell you about my dream. I dreamt a joke." And here it is:

Q: What did the Scottish jew say when bitten by a salmon?

A: Yo, kipper!


[Thank you, thank you, you've been a great audience. We'll be here all week.]

The dishwsher at the condo had been broken for months and just before Thanksgiving, I finally called an appliance repair service to fix it. They had to order a part - when they finally got it in and fixed it, it was the day before we moved. Oh well - at least the new dishwasher will work.

[Ehhhhh - wrong!]

So we've been washing dishes by hand again. Cyrus felt he could fix it, but never seemed to get around to it, so I called the appliance repair service again. They sent the same guy out - he was a little confused seeing me in a different house - but he checked everything out and said, "You have these two wires here that aren't connected. So I connected them."

It worked, of course - and cost $80. I suppose that's better than spending several hundred on a new machine, but still. Ouch. He also worked with the ice maker - it isn't making much ice and doesn't dispense out the front. We discovered that the copper tubing was badly kinked, but I'll have Cyrus and the guys sort out how to shut off the water and fix it. The control panel's circuit board isn't working right, so he's ordering a new part which we'll get installed after we get back.


Oh, didn't I mention that we're going away? Gary has a conference on hyperbaric medicine to go to so I am going with. It's in Little Cayman and consists of scuba diving in the morning and a few lectures in the afternoon (which I do not have to attend), and runs from Saturday to Saturday. Apparently Little Cayman was spared the wrath of Hurricane Ivan, which devastated the island of Grand Cayman. So it should be a nice little break, especially since the temperature (which is supposed to get up to 68 degrees today!) is expected to drop sharply by Saturday. I'm sure it will be cold and raining in Little Cayman too.

[As far as you know.]

I never watch reality TV shows. Aside from the occasional brief viewing as I change channels, usually ending with shaking my head in disgust/disbelief. I see the promos for some of these train wrecks and think, "Haven't they hit rock bottom yet?"

So it is with great happiness that I read of the quick demise of the most recent addition to the reality genre: "The Will." The basic premise was that there were ten people vying to be the sole heir of a fortune. Over a series of weeks we would have the opportunity to watch the potential heirs battle in both physical and mental challenges, hoping to be the last one standing as the "most deserving heir." Alas, it was not to be.

CBS pulls 'The Will' -- after one airing

This reality series, which logged a minuscule 4.2 million viewers on its premiere airing Saturday, has been axed by CBS, the network confirmed Wednesday. Despite heavy promotion, "The Will" ranked 79th place in viewers, according to Nielsen Media Research, making it CBS' lowest-ranked show of the week. (The week's most-watched show, CBS' "CSI," drew almost 29 million viewers.)

A rerun of CBS' Sunday crime drama "Cold Case" will plug the hole this Saturday, the network said.

A reality show whose 10 participants vied to be sole heir to the fortune of a 73-year-old rancher, "The Will" thus joins a handful of other one-shot blunders in TV history.

The most recent was "South of Sunset," a CBS detective drama with former Eagles rocker Glenn Frey, which debuted October 27, 1993, then was never seen again. With a 6.1 rating, that show attracted what was deemed the smallest audience ever for a series premiere on any major network.

For the sake of comparison, "The Will" got a 2.9 rating.

[Perhaps there is hope for our species after all.]

The CBS internal investigation report on "Memogate" has been issued and dissected all over the blogosphere. Everyone has different opinions about what should or should not have happened as a result, but my favorite is - strangely enough - from David Letterman. Strange because Late Night is a CBS show! (Via Vodkapundit):

Top Ten Proposed Changes At CBS News

10. Stories must be corroborated by at least two really strong hunches.

9. "Evening News" pre-show staff cocktail hour is cancelled until further notice.

8. Reduce "60 Minutes" to more manageable 15-20 minutes.

7. Change division name from "CBS News" to "CBS News-ish"

6. If anchor says anything inaccurate, earpiece delivers an electric shock.

5. Conclude each story with comical "Boing" sound effect.

4. Instead of boring Middle East reports, more powerball drawings.

3. To play it safe, every "exclusive" story will be about how tasty pecan pie is.

2. Not sure how, but make CBS News more like "C.S.I."

1. Use beer, cash and hookers to lure Tom Brokaw out of retirement.


Quote du jour:

"I don't make jokes. I just watch government
and report the facts."

-- Will Rogers (1879 - 1935) US actor, lecturer, humorist

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