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Updated: 01/06/02

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how awful the drivers in philadelphia are

Sunday, 6 January, 2002

The only people more stupid than those who go to the mall the weekend BEFORE Christmas are those who go to the mall two weekends AFTER Christmas.

[Hi, my name is Kay and I'm a Stupid Person.]

"Hi Kay. . ."

On Saturday afternoon my stupidity kicked in and I drove out to King of Prussia Mall in the western Philadelphia suburbs. I guess I should have mentioned that I really don't like to shop to begin with, but shopping with crowds is pure torture. I usually have about an hour and a half window before I start muttering under my breath and looking for escape routes. I should have just turned around and gone home when I saw the police officers directing traffic - in the parking lot - but I was on a mission.

So off I went into the heart of suburban shopping madness in search of the Sharper Image store. For Christmas I received a wonderful corkscrew from SI, and it opened exactly two bottles of wine before breaking, so I needed to return it. The return line was incredible, but eventually I got through. Since it was a gift, "Bob" the salesperson offered me store credit, but I felt that it would be like playing "The Price Is Right" - which one of the three Sharper Image items that are actually in the price range would I find the least useless? I asked, "Can't I just get a new one of these?" Although "Bob" looked at me like I had just grown a new head, he gave me a new one, following the standard issue "Whatever" salesperson shrug.

I went to Victoria's Secret since they were having a big sale . . .

[No, I'm not going to to tell you what I got.]

. . . and while standing in line I overheard a great conversation between the two women behind me. One had found a bra on sale that she liked, but when she went to look for the matching panties, she couldn't find them in the size she wanted, medium. She only found extra small and large - so she was buying them both. Ah, the lure of the sale: a person can afford to buy not one, but TWO pairs of panties that don't fit. *sheesh*.

The whole thing was a frustrating experience. I hit all my usual places - the ones where I can usually find stuff every time I go in - and it was . . . weird. The daunting number of fellow stupid people aside, I didn't find anything that I really wanted. Or - even worse - I would find one small item, like a pack of cocktail napkins, and take a gander at the check-out line that apparently started near the police officer out in the parking lot, and decided that if I bought them I would lose whatever pleasure they might have brought knowing that I had spent two hours of my life waiting to buy them. But my last stop was Pottery Barn - yea! Christmas ornaments and candles, 50% off, AND a helpful salesperson ("Chris") who got me out of there in record time. Score!

I went over to see THE HOUSE. They have the whole front of the den framed and the facia put on, and the half roof above the Master Bedroom deck put up. Richard and Barry and I had a two and a half hour meeting to talk about where things stand and what is left to be done. Barry thinks he has another three months of work, and the finish work will probably take another two months after that. Maybe a Bastille Day housewarming party? Not exactly holding my breath.

Sunday morning I went to the grocery store, figuring that it would be the best way to beat the crowds out in search of eggs, bread and milk in preparation for the

that the Weather Charlatans were predicting. Looked like I was just in time too, since although the milk and bread shelves were running at about 50% of capacity, the egg section had been nearly cleared out. Heavens. I will admit that I bought eggs, but no bread or milk.

Encouraged by the lack of crowds, I drove up to Franklin Mills Mall, a huge outlet mall just north of Center City Philly. As packed as King of Prussia had been the day before, Franklin Mills was just as deserted. I guess they were all out at KoP. I bought two pairs of pants, three sweaters, two blouses and a pair of shorts for under $100. Managed to stay for two hours before my internal "I'm done shopping now" switch was flipped, a new record, I believe.

On my way home, I drove through Northern Liberties, near THE HOUSE, looking for a church that I can see from my roof. It has a spectacular golden dome, and I have been curious about its location and what denomination it is. I found it on Eighth Street, four blocks away - it is the Ukrainian Catholic Cathedral of Philadelphia and it is even more beautiful up close. One of these days I'll get a picture of it, assuming I can find it again.

Talked to Mom and Dad this evening. Mom leaves again tomorrow morning for Hawaii. She'll be there teaching for, well, until she finds someone else to take the class. She's staying at Nan and Don's house in Honolulu. Hopefully Dad will get a chance to go out there for at least a few days.

The RAIN came in the afternoon and I was glad that I had gotten my errands done. Oh, and I took the balcony lights down before it started. Perhaps my weekend stupidity is not permanent.

~ ~ ~

Quote du jour:

"Whenever a man does a thoroughly
stupid thing it is always from
the noblest motive."

-- Oscar Wilde
The Picture of Dorian Gray

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