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Updated: 12/22/03

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What's on the nightstand

by Alexandre Dumas

make dinner


Monday, 22 December, 2003

Well, today's the day. It is, to my mind - the most depressing day of the year. It is the first day of winter and the shortest day-light day of the year. At 4:45, there was barely a gleam of light left in the sky.

[But it can only go uphill from here.]

Now I REALLY have all of my Christmas shopping done. We stopped at The Gap on Sunday afternoon and I swept up enough kid's clothes to outfit a small army. Which, in fact, they are.

In keeping with our Food Animal Reprieve Theme, here's one with a nautical bent:

Fishermen Dress Lobster As Barbie

MOUNT DESERT ISLAND, Maine - Practical jokers Jim Bright and Chris Costello never imagined that their idea of dressing a female lobster in a Barbie outfit accessorized with pink high heels would save her from the steam pot.

But it did at least 10 times.

As a gag, the fishermen clad the crustacean and placed her in a friend's trap last September.

"It's a monotony hauling traps day after day," said Costello, "and we just wanted to break it up a little bit. It totally worked."

Barbie Lobster, as she has come to be known, has been hauled up and thrown back at least 10 times. The radios used by lobstermen buzzed with chatter and laughter each time a new sighting of Barbie was reported.

Costello made a special trip to Wal-Mart to buy the blue blouse, red- and white-checkered skirt and shoes.

The men had wanted to dress up a jumbo lobster, but it was too fat to fit into a Barbie ensemble. Instead, they chose a svelte 1 1/2-pound model.

"They slipped right on, just like Cinderella," Bright said of the footwear.

Costello disagreed, saying it was a challenge to put the high heels on the little lobster legs. There are four legs on each side so the men attached them to the two in the center. "You try squeezing Barbie shoes on a lobster," he said. "That was the most time-consuming thing."

Barbie hasn't been seen since early December and apparently was unkempt and nearly naked, except for her shoes.

If she survives a few more months, she may be home free for another season, Costello said.

"We have our spring fashions all ready to go," he said.

[I'm sure that Mattel never even dreamed of this.]

Quote du jour:

"We Barbie dolls are not supposed to behave the way I do."

-- Sharon Stone (1958 - ____) US actress

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