Diddakoi Walt Whitman
Take me home...St Emilion  kay@diddakoi.com

Updated: 07/31/06

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by Neal Stephenson

"The Glorious Cause"
by Jeff Shaara

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Monday, 31 July, 2006

I just got the most amazing e-mail this morning. With the opportunity for a career change! Check this out - spelling and grammar per the original, with added comments by me:

Dear Sir or Madam,
[Pick one or both.]

We would appreciate to your attention.
[Wouldn't we all?]

Our big, growing company is looking for a new staff!
[Yeah . . . good luck with that!]

As we are an international company we have clients in most big countries. We are seeking for representatives all over the world to make our business more successful.
[Seems reasonable. I'm sure they're legitimate.]

We have an opened position of the assistant manager in our company.
[Saaaay . . . this sounds intriguing.]

Apply now and be among the first tomorrow!
[Hmmm, you lost me here. Among the first what? Why tomorrow? Why not today?]

To be considered to this position you must:
~ have 2-3 free hours a day [Check.]
~ have an acess to the Internete [Check - although I spel "acces" and "Intrenet" diffrenetly.]
~ have opportunity to check an e-mail several times a day [Check.]
~ have a bank account [Check. Or "checks" as the case may be. Gee, I crack me up!]

No investments and special knowledge are needed
[What a relief. And here I thought they were going to ask me for money! Or for my special knowledge, which I don't like to leave lying around for anyone to find.]

You will be responsible for managing transfers and you will receive % immediately+ salary!
[Wow, all that could be mine! Won't Gary be thrilled when I tell him?]

This email says it's from "DAVID DIRUSSO". Although I note that his e-mail address is actually "RamiroGarner@fadmail.com". Oh, and at the end of the message, there's another address: "sdbmanager03@aol.com". I wonder which one it is? How should I address my response: to David or to Ramiro? Perhaps I should take a page from their own book and start with "Dear Sir or Madam".

[Or "Dear Con Artists".]

Gary was on call this weekend. I dropped him off at the hospital Saturday morning and then ran errands:

- Petsmart. Got a fish tank cleaner, some kitty litter, kitty food and Malt-Cat, er . . . Kitty-Malt, er . . . Malty-Pet . . . [hairball medicine].
- Pier One Outlet. Got some nice little bottles for vinegar. I started making my own vinegar a couple of months ago and wanted to find some bottles to put it in. Also, cushions for the new couches [see below].
- Costco. The cart was sagging by the time I got done. We won't need paper towels for a year [Or honey, diced tomatoes, shampoo or ketchup].
- Wine Place. Can't remember the name - the one near the Cherry Hill Mall. Any wine I might have bought is of course for consumption at our condo in New Jersey, NOT in Pennsylvania [for all you PA Liquor Control Board lurkers].
- Goodwill. Dropped off a couple of bags of clothes and my old rollerblades.

Then home to await the arrival of the new living room furniture. We had stopped at West Elm, a relatively new furniture store in Philly, on Wednesday night after work. We've gotten their catalogs for a while and had seen some couches we liked. We ordered two sectional couches [in "pumice"], a coffee table [in "chocolate"], and a new round table [in "chocolate"] for the stairwell along with four side chairs [in "natural"].

The delivery was supposed to be between two and seven and they called me around 4:00 to say they were near. After evaluating the obstacle course in the front yard, they decided it would be easier to take the big huge delivery truck down the little tiny alley and move the stuff in through the garage. And ya know? They were right! The boxes, while not extraordinarily heavy, were bulky - mostly about 2.5 feet by 4.5 feet square - and there were nine of them. It only took them about ten minutes to unload everything and after giving them some ice water, I put together the coffee table and three of the couches [had to affix the legs to each].

I took dinner down to Gary at the hospital and Sunday morning got up and went back home to work on the rest of the furniture. I also did laundry - several loads - cleaned the fish tank, glued some corks and finished putting away all of the Costco stuff. I got the new round table and two of the chairs done - they look really nice. I think we'll keep the old table and chairs for Josh to use when he gets his first apartment. I also finished the rest of the living room sectional pieces. When I got to the last one, it appears that someone had gotten an ottoman {which we did not order] and put it [assembled] in a box that was labeled for a corner piece. Drat! But I called this morning, and Dennis was very apologetic and helpful - they will be there on Thursday to replace the piece and take the ottoman.


Spoke to Mom yesterday. I'm trying to teach her how to post to the diddakoi site - hopefully she'll have her own blog here in a few days. I think we worked out the last difficulty, so once she's up and running I'll post a link.

[Woo hoo!]


[Only 7,193 more needed for our wine cellar wall.]

Quote du jour:

"What a surprise to find you could shift the contents of your head like rearranging furniture in a room."

Lisa Alther (1944 - ____) US novelist

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