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Updated: 02/28/03

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"Titus Groan"
by Mervyn Peake



Friday, 28 February, 2003

Even though I am slightly conservative in my political views, I got a good chuckle out of this report at IMAO. It begins with the "debate" between Saddam Hussein and George W Bush and finishes up with a Rumsfeld/Rice press conference announcing our new War Machine.

On screen appeared a giant mech armed to the teeth. Also, an American flag was prominently painted on its front. "We call this our War Machine," Rice explained, "It stands at about ten stories tall. You'll notice we've drawn a hapless foreigner about to be crushed by its foot to give it scale. Its function will be to smash through villages, crushing buildings as it blares 'God Bless America' on its giant speakers. This is all part of our effort to make lesser cultures fear America in the same way they would fear the gods."

"Who would drive such a monstrosity?"

"No one. It has a programmed AI to make sure it only attacks the enemy."

"Are you sure it won't some day turn against us?" asked a reporter, looking frightened.

"The two programmers who hacked out the code over a weekend long programming marathon assured me that would never happen." Rice smiled for a moment, but then heard a beeping sound. She pulled a PDA out of her pocket and looked at the screen. "Apparently the War Machine has gone berserk and destroyed most of Massachusetts. Those programmers better pay me back for the box of chocolate donuts I gave them."

"Actually, I told the War Machine to do that," Rumsfeld said, "I hate Massachusetts. So did it get all the Kennedys?"


Scrappleface has a nice snipe at the Iraqi promise to destroy his missiles:

U.S. Agrees 'In Principle' Not to Attack Iraq

(2003-02-27) -- After United Nations announced that Iraq has agreed "in principle" to destroy some illegal missiles, the White House announced that the United States agrees "in principle" not to attack Iraq.

"Here's the principle," said White House spokesman Ari Fleischer. "America doesn't fight with nations that pose no threat to it or its allies. So, if Iraq fully complies with all U.N. sanctions, we will not attack."

[We'll see.]

~ ~ ~

Quote du jour:

"I must begin with a good body of facts and not from a principle (in which I always suspect some fallacy) and then as much deduction as you please."

-- Charles Darwin (1809 - 1882) English naturalist, author

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