As I lay there in the very small MRI tube yesterday evening, a little voice in my head asked:
Voice in Head: "You're not claustrophobic, are you?"
Kay: "Er, no. Well, at least I haven't been up until now. I mean that's what they caution you against when you take up scuba diving, although I find that to be really quite open, except for caves and swim-throughs, which I don't like. Not that I'm claustrophobic - I just don't like the feeling of being in a small, enclosed space that I can't get out of. Like this MRI tube, for example! Hey, how about that? Maybe I am . . . "
Voice of MRI Operator: "OK, this first session will be four minutes long. Just hold still."
MRI Machine: "Click, click, click. Whirrrrrr. EHHHHHHH! EHHHHHHH! EHHHHHHH! *bing* EHHHHHHH! EHHHHHHH! EHHHHHHH!
Voice in Head: "Why don't you open your eyes and see just how close you are to the roof of the coffin . . . oh! Did I say coffin? No, no, really, I meant MRI tube."
Kay: "La, la, la, la. I'm not listening. La, la, la, la. I can feel my toes outside and so I know I'm not in a coffin. But seriously, how on earth do they fit anyone bigger than me into this thing?"
Voice of MRI Operator: "You're doing great. This next session will also be four minutes long."
MRI Machine: "Click, click, click. Whirrrrrr. EHHHHHHH! EHHHHHHH! EHHHHHHH!
So, it was painless and over in twenty minutes or so, but not exactly something I'd like to repeat. And I may have to, because they only did my C-Spine (cervical spine) and did not do the two shoulder studies that Dr. Herbison prescribed. They said that would take 4-5 HOURS so they couldn't do it last night and suggested that I should see if they can tell what they need from the C-Spine first anyway.
At any rate, while I still am not able to raise my left arm above the shoulder, I have been able to hold it once it is there, which is an improvement. Also [knock on wood] I haven't had the sharp stabbing pains for a while, which is rather refreshing. There is usually kind of a dull ache most of the time - it got pretty bad on Tuesday night, so I took a Vicadin that evening, but haven't had one since then. Maybe going with the Uber-Advils will be sufficient going forward.
[Number of Narcotic-free days: TWO]
I know I've said this before, but I just love Lileks. Here are a couple of snips from his sarcastic send-off to terrorist Zarqawi:
(Herewith is document #2322, obtained during recent raids following the strike on Zarqawi’s HQ)
From the desk of Abu Yassin al-Noobei, Al Qaeda #1 in Iraq as of 11:17 AM this morning.
Greetings in these trying times. Thank you for the many encouragements and gifts, especially the box of delicious dates, although I must note that one of the dates has been beeping softly since I opened the package. If this is some manner of insect, I request that you refrain in the future from –
Tarry a moment; there’s a plane overhead; wonder if it’s a
(Rest of document is burned)
(Captured document #2323J)
From under the desk of Abu Hamza al-Muhajer, Al Qaeda’s #1 man in Iraq as of 14:41 this afternoon
In the name of Allah the merciful and peaceful, I bring you news of pitiless vengeance. Victory is near! Thanks to the bombs of the Crusaders – Satan curse their on-board guidance systems - Zarqawi has been delivered to heaven, after a brief detour through a window frame. I know all the joyous martyrdoms have made for a hectic week. Personally, my face aches from smiling and my teeth hurt from all the cake, and I have a cramp in my hand from all the paperwork. (On behalf of HR, I would request that you cut down on the number of wives, as it makes pension disbursement rather complicated.) At the risk of dampening your commendable ardor, however, I would request that everyone refrain from glorious dying for a few weeks while we regroup.
[And my favorite part:]
Making a whistling sound with a descending pitch in my presence was funny the first time. We all had a good laugh. It is hereby forbidden.
SAVE YOUR CORKS!!
[Only 7,204 more needed for our wine cellar wall.]
Quote du jour:
"At first it was exhilarating but when I realized it wasn't going away, it became scary and claustrophobic. Fame is a weird thing."
Sharon Stone (1958 - ____) US actress
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